by Shelly Abich | Dec 30, 2017 | Fashion, Love of Gray Blog, Stories
….on the wall. Who is the fairest of them all?
Snow White aka porcelain skin with ruby red lips NOT Snow White the pruney broad with white wirey hair.
Or so I thought….
Yes folks, this is a very accurate depiction of me (with more tears) on the momentous day of September 25, 2007. A day which will go down in infamy. The day when I discovered my first gray hair. Age 26. RIP brunette bombshell.
(p.s. That made-up date was totally pinpointed for dramatic effect)
Oh, that fateful day. That day when I thought: “This is it, Shelly. The beginning of the end. My youthful flame, beauty, vibrance – it’s all shattered. I must accept the inevitable downfall.”
I also thought: “Thanks ALOT for the premature graying genes, dad.” See below:
“White hair don’t care.” Speak for yourself daddio. Seriously though, the man was fully gray by age 30. Lucky for him he actually rocked it, and still does.
You might be thinking, “why would gray hairs bring her to tears if she loves seniors and all that is old?” Well, in that moment, I was a total hypocrite. Today, I see seniors with their gray hair and think “amazing; wisdom; experience”, but when it came to myself, I couldn’t handle the first sign that I was truly aging. I thought this meant my beauty was starting to fade *WAH*. Fast forward 10 years, I only have a few more rebellious gray hairs (thank you organic lifestyle) and I have realized so much about myself and Mr. Gray. Although things change in color and texture, aging can have it’s own type of beauty. And yes I do mean “on the outside.”
For a moment, I’m going to focus on my ladies here since men have this magical way of looking better and better as they age *EYE ROLL*. I see you Sean Connery.
While searching for “seniorspiration” (yep, made that word up) at a local shopping market, I looked up and saw this adonis before me.
Move over Golden Girls, this lady is the real deal. I mean, I literally had a mouth drop situation (my apologies for not getting a better pic, but clearly, she was onto my stalking). Her perfectly twisted hair (p.s. you should see the back with her fancy hair clips!), her posh yet weather appropriate outfit, her just right make-up. I was in awe. Besides that, she had such a grace about her which completed the package. Royalty. Senior Royalty she was.
THEN, yesterday, I arrive at a resort with my hubby and I nearly drop my tea & coffee cake when I spot this Mr. Gray all gussied up in black & gold (as a Steelers fan this was serious bonus points):
P Diddy can’t pull off that much bling.
Pretty sure I put the I LOVE SENIORS vibes out so HARD that it was like the power of attraction and she finally came up next to me (or it could have been that I was next to the food- but that’s neither here nor there). I thought: “This is your chance.” Like a lion spotting a gazelle that separated from the pack, I pounced: “HI! I LOVE YOUR OUTFIT!” Augh, Mr. Gray (also known as Jane) was a gem and her eyes lit up and there was no shame in her game. She was happy to take a photo with me and full of zest. Her granddaughter was also with her and told me that Jane is the talk of the town and always dresses like this. As in, every single day. Small world, turns out she lives, literally, 1 block from me. I felt robbed of all the outfits I could have seen.
Beyond showing that Mr. Gray can be a breathtaking species worthy of a Gawk’nStalk (wow I’m making up lots of fun terms today!), I want to note that it clearly took these ladies effort to look so put together– and maybe this effort was well spent!
I mean, Mr. Gray didn’t roll out of bed in these cases and head out for the day. No no. There was time and energy invested: outfit selection, hair twisting, accessorizing, make-up application. Heck, I mean Mr. Gray #1 should get bonus points ALONE for putting on stockings. You know what I mean ladies: stockings add at least 5 precious minutes into a dressing routine — the stretching them out, rolling them down, clipping your hang nail so it doesn’t snag them, pulling them up like at a slug’s pace, and then you inevitably have to pee. It’s an ordeal for anyone of any age. Mr. Gray #2- I mean dammmmnnn. She accessorized like Lady Gaga at the Grammy’s…or should I say “Grammies.” ;o)
Now the question, is, WHY would a senior spend so much time foofing? Isn’t it this Mr. Gray’s “golden years,” where he/she’s finally earned the right to roll out in those ripped up jeans, eat sweets for breakfast, and tell it like it is?! So why dress up?
Well, one might be inclined to think, wow *she’s so vaaaain, bet she thinks this blog is about herrrr*. Is it vain to put effort into looking your best? I think not! This reminds me of that TLC TVshow a from a few years ago: “What Not to Wear.”
What were you THINKING wearing and old tshirt, sequence sweatpants and crocs with rainbow-dyed hair?!?
Oh, the magical designer duo, Stacy & Clinton! They were always doing unbelievable makeovers. And they did seem at times a bit “judgey”, BUT if you noticed the huge smiles and the end of the makeovers, you knew they were onto something! They would always say that when you look your best, you feel your best — that it can affect the way you relate to the world and yourself. Essentially, that presenting yourself well on the outside can make you feel good on the inside. And you would definitely feel this truth from the formerly fashion faux-pas folks on the show (p.s. I dub myself the queen of alliteration.)
Why can’t this look good/feel good formula apply to seniors? Well, it can and it does. Perhaps it makes Mr. Gray feel a little better about his arthritis if he puts his favorite cap on to get coffee or her gold bow belt going to dinner?
My personal proof of this formula: Even when she was ill in the hospital, my nanny (aka wife of the original Mr. Gray/my Grandpa/blog inspiration in my “About Me”) loved to have her hair brushed and nails done. A few days before she died in 1997, I painted her nails pink with purple and yellow flowers. I was 15 and that’s all I knew I could do to help her. She died with that nail polish I painted on her fingers. I couldn’t make her well and I know a nice manicure is such a small thing, but I like to believe it helped. Actually, I know it did because it made her feel a bit more put together. She was beautiful and those things made her feel beautiful.
So, back to Stacy & Clinton who would always say, no matter where you go, if you are in public, be put together. Well, my nanny ROCKED that hospital bed, Queen Gray ROCKED that grocery store aisle, and Jane ROCKED that lobby.
Someone should tell that fairytale mirror that youthful beauty is so last year.
by Shelly Abich | Dec 17, 2017 | Uncategorized
Exhibit A:
Cream of Wheat
Exhibit B:
Rice Pudding
Exhibit C:
Pea Soup
If any of these look appealing to you, I’m sorrynotsorry to say, but you might have more in common with Mr. Gray than you think! Mr. Gray (most of the time) totally digs these softer delicacies— and shocker here– but I just happen to LOVE them too, the gloppier the better *fist pump*. Flan, yes ‘mon. Tapioca and Bread pudding, lay it on me. J to the ELLO.
My grandpa, the OG, (“original gangster” for you anti-slangers) hated al dente veggies, particularly asparagus and would constantly complain at restaurants and specify how he did not want them cooked. I was confused by this as a teen, but fast forward to today— I totally feel ya Gpa. I don’t know when barely cooked veggies became on trend, but if I wanted to be a panda eating bamboo, I would have let the server know.
Look, I get it, I’m probably in the minority here alongside me and my senior peeps; I know mushy food is not everyone’s cup of tea and you are likely one of those people who’s totally grossed out by weird or slimy textures, but maybe they are onto something here. Soft/well-cooked food is definitely easier on the digestive system. Convinced you yet to switch teams? No, okay fine fine….stay basic…it’s cool.
I don’t mean to generalize seniors, but they do gravitate towards soft food for an array of reasons: they simply like the texture/taste (like me), the food is nostalgic and elicits fond memories, and/or for those with dentures, sensitive teeth/jaws, it’s just plain easier to chew.
But the main takeaway here is, whether Mr. Gray fits the senior mold, or whether he’s a crunchy-food rebel, LET MY PEOPLE CHOOSE.
Tell ’em Moses.
Let them eat their food mushy if they want. Let them eat it al dente if they like it that way. Let them eat it on a train, or a plane, medium rare or well-done. As adults, we all have CHOICE. Sadly, due to skilled nursing facility (aka nursing home) constraints and other systematic issues, our society flops with food choice for Mr. Gray. Sadly, we treat seniors like children:
EAT THIS OR STARVE!!!
Story Time:
A few weeks ago I ran into Mr. Gray at a bar (no this is not the beginning of a joke). Ok, we didn’t “run into each other.” He was sitting next to me and after the football game ended, I started up a mildly forced conversation when he was about to leave. Lucky for meeeeee he stayed and we talked.
Oh heeeeeeyyyyyyyyyy cutie. Come here often?
We started chatting about about his mother who recently passed away and her experience in nursing homes. What struck me most about the conversation was how he focused on the meal she ate before she died — a very bittersweet story for me; he talked about how excited she was to have a lobster roll since she was often served rubbery chicken. Now, look, lobster rolls are melt in your mouth delish, but no wonder she was elated — this poor woman (and one of many thousands mind you) was STUCK EATING DRIED UP NASTY ASSSSS CHICKEN ON THE REGULAR (‘scuse my French).
Mr. Gray said his mom had so much trouble chewing it that he nicely asked the staff to fix it (yeah good luck with that one). So not only did she have to eat tasteless cardboard food, but then it was like passing a kidney stone to just to try to eat her darn dinner. Forget the food police, this should be plain illegal! Come on man—elderly folks have EARNED the right to eat what they want and to eat well….not the old rotisserie chicken scraps that I feed to my cat. If anything, seniors should be served more flavorful food to make up for desensitizing taste buds.
Look, all I can say is if after years of experiencing delicious cuisines – sushi, truffle pasta, etc., and I’m forced to eat that crap, this will 100% be me:
I’ll be starting a revolution up in dat assisted living- BELIEVE THAT.
You might be thinking, is this post really all about food? Yes, yes it is. Why? Because food is a big DEAL. We love food so much we post pictures of it, we blog about it, we plan dates around it. It’s something that matters a lot to most people- and not just because it sustains us or we try to use it to maintain our health, but because we just plain enjoy eating. It’s one of life’s most simple pleasures!
Mr. Gray is no exception. In fact, old age is the time to kick back and enjoy the fruits of your labor (literally!). My nanny used to eat the you know what out of Nutty Buddies, and I didn’t get it till now. You know what? She was enjoying herself, and she earned it. I’m not proposing seniors eat junk all day, but I’m simply highlighting food choice. To force grown adults (extra grown) to regress to childhood roles where mom forces us to eat all of our brussel sprouts, well that’s just not cool. I’m def not okay with that and when you’re 85, you won’t be either.
So today’s moral of the story, kids, is this— mushy or not, Mr. Gray should be able to his peas (and anything else), just the way he PLEASE. SAME AS YA’LLLLL. *Drops Mic*
by Shelly Abich | Dec 4, 2017 | Uncategorized
…With the sound of muuuusiiicc. Aww, doesn’t that film just make you feel ooey gooey good on the inside?!! Julie Andrews, Do Re Mi, clothes made out of curtains. One of the best movies of all time.
Now — since we’re on the topic — I’m just putting it out there….but ya know the song “I am 16, going on 17”? Huge hit, right? I mean, every teenage girl could relate to that song: teenage romance, first kiss, innocence, an older man who’s 17 going on 18. Except one little, itty, bitty, problem. My version was: “I am 16, going on 83.” (and if you could please be in your 90’s Mr. Soldier Boy, that would be bonus points).
Yeah, I’m a senior freak. This is nothing new. We’ve established this with my blog reveals. But, what might be new and fresh for you all is my epic music skills. Just watch my latest jam sesh:
Oh, you want more you say?! Encore?! Sorry, you’ll have to buy tickets to my next concert. And yes, that’s a shower cap. All granny wannabes wear them whilst playing instruments. You’d have to be one to understand.
Ok. Enough of that hubbub! I clearly stink at the harmonica (although in my defense that was the first day I tried it). I did, however, used to be pretty good at the flute and piano. Key words: “used to.” It’s too bad though because had I kept up with them I could be a virtuoso by now. And when I hit 80, I could have been the talk of the town. Like this dude:
Woof, someone grab me a fan and fainting couch. This silver-haired Santana is making me SWOON.
Knock knock. [Who’s there?]. Arthritis. [Arthritis who?] Arthri t’isn’t an issue for deez fingers!!!
Mmmmmhhhmm das right: Did ya’ll know.that musical talent does not decline with age — It RE-FINES. Oh yeah, this is fine wine material here. It’s simple logic- the more you do something, the better you get at it. I mean duh, right? Well, I don’t think it’s a duh thing actually. I don’t think we expect to see a Mr. Gray gone Gary Clark Jr. Quite the contrary; we are mouths-gaping WOWED by it. Most of us react this way to talented musicians of all ages, but when it’s a senior we go ape *shhhhh. We think “He’s so old, but look how he can still play!” I mean, hello, I’m one of them because I internet fainted when I saw this dude.
BUT, as we see with Mr. Gray in this video, talents ripen with time. If continued into old age, these talents enrich the lives of the elderly AND ours simultaneously. Mr. Gray might appear a bit pruney, but he is no wilting grape! And to speak strictly musically, it’s a darn good thing emotionally and physically. It’s a mood booster, provides hand exercise and brain stimulation, preserves memory, you name it.
Seniors with dementia often cannot remember names, places, or other words, but can remember every word to a song when they sing. Check out this video (*warning* get your happy tissues out!):
SHOT THROUGH THE HEART! This gets me deep in my soul. I feel that everything that is positive and hopeful about humanity is present in this video. I could write more here about my thoughts on this, but I mean, I already posted one embarrassing video in this entry, let’s go for 2:
Ok, sorry bout the waterworks, but MAN these videos bring us full circle: Look at what Mr. Gray can do for music and what music can do for Mr. Gray. So let’s all be rockstars.
by Shelly Abich | Nov 16, 2017 | Love of Gray Blog, Stories
As far as vaca goes, my husband Abe and I are total opposites. He loves to sit in his beach chair for hours and do nothing; all he needs are his headphones and a good book. Actually, he just needs his headphones. Actually, just air.
IIIIIIIII, on the other hand, am refreshingly more complex *hair flip* and require far more to keep me entertained. Therefore, this is how our communication goes at the beach — I mouth something to him pretending he can hear what I’m saying through his headphones, until he begrudgingly yanks out just one earpiece, and I hit him with:
To which he always responds: “I’m relaxing.” (No duh, buddy, you’re pruning).
So I step it up. *Eye batting* *Puppy-dog face* Please Please Pleeeeease do something with me baby honey sugarplum boobobooboobear!
“Not right now. I’m relaxing.”
Auggggh you are WORTHLESS TO ME HUSBAND! I married you to have a playmate! I am done with you! (Ok, not really, but that’s how I feel for 5 seconds).
I then pathetically resign myself to wandering the shore looking for a crab to talk to. But I mean, who wants to sit in a chair and just roast like a chicken?? I can scan a magazine for 30 minutes MAX but then I wanna liiiiive as in swim, play bocce ball, boogie board, build a sand castle, look for shells, build Noah’s Ark in the sand, whatever— ANYTHING but doing nothing.
Look, I can’t help it really. I’m an active vacationer. I’m an active person. I love yoga, pilates, hiking, biking, volleyball, and most recently off-roading (bonus: Abe hates getting wet and it just so happens I love driving through puddles. Paybacks baby ;o))
Now, I don’t want all those zippy activities to give you the wrong idea here— good ‘ole board games are life. My happy place. My zen. But alas, I run into the same sticky issue with my beach bum hubby – he happens to also hate board games and so I never. have. anyone. to. play. with!!!!!
Despite my frustration, I’m not trying to change my husband to enjoy these things. That would be preposterous!
I simply want to age him. NBD right? ;oD
….because ya know darn well Mr. Gray would take me up on that game of scrabble! HE wouldn’t leave me hanging because he loves his board games and crossword puzzles and other highly underrated sophisticated activities. Exhibit A:
That hands-behind-the-back-pose is everything.
I caught these folks in puzzle action at a resort this past weekend. (Luckily, I’ve honed my senior stalking skills to where I seem to be casually taking shots of the room. As if I’d be looking at anything else hahahahaha. *Cuz you know it’s all about that Gray, bout that Gray*) But seriously, I did leave my fancy birthday dinner to capture these snazzy seniors. Priorities.
So, we all know Mr. Gray fancies puzzles and board games and all that jazz….and that’s good stuff because those things are awesome and keep him tres sharp. BUT, why is it almost unnatural for us to picture him doing other activities– you know, as in the ACTIVE ACTIVITES?!
Well, the stereotype that exists is that Mr. Gray lacks the physical ability and/or is just not interested in being active. Unfortunately, this fixed way of thinking not only stifles our view of seniors, but I argue it also limits the access they have to doing these sorts of activities (i.e. “let’s not offer that it’s too hard for them” or “they will have a heart attack”, etc. etc.). This limits seniors and frankly, it’s demeaning. Nobody likes to be put in a box, so let’s not do that with Mr. Gray either, mmk?
There are SO many examples out there of seniors not only doing what younger adults can do, but doing MORE than what the average adult can do.
Here’s just one example. Prepare to be amazed:
As she talks about in this 2010 video, Barb Macklow finished her 1st 100 mile race at age 74. And then, in 2017, she completed her 2nd 100 mile race at age 82.
Barb with her 100 mile buckle.
Let’s take that in for moment.
ONE HUNDRED FRIGGIN MILES. I just, I just can’t even fathom this– from anyone at any age. My hubby just ran his 1st marathon (26.2 miles) in October at age 38 and I was in awe of him and the rest of the runners crossing the finish line. Super impressive stuff. Theeeen, you have this ultramarathoner who is 82 years old and ran 4x that length!!!! She ran for 2 days people. 2 DAYYYYS. I can’t even run for 20 minutes. The physical stamina. The mental fortitude. Get this woman a bigger buckle!
Now, back to my earlier point that we stereotype elderly folks as inactive…….
If you noticed in the video, Barb mentioned “the general population thinks you’re not quite right.” She’s spot on but what is that crap?? Why do we assume that Mr. Gray can’t DO challenging activities and is nuts if he/she does? While it’s true that some senior folks can’t, some CAN. And isn’t that the same with all people, of all ages? Some can do certain things, some can’t. So let’s rewire our thinking here, shall we?
Mr. Gray can run. He can jump. He can skip. He can do it all. He’s Mr. Gray.
![Everything’s Coming Up Roses]()
by Shelly Abich | Oct 31, 2017 | Uncategorized
Ladies: I am sorry to have to tell you this.
Men: I am every sorrier to have to tell you this.
But….
My husband gets me flowers alllll. the. friggin. time. Okay, that’s a bit of an exaggeration, but he definitely puts the “man” in romance. Now, before you all beat me with miniature violins while screaming:
let me clarify that I am not bragging, simply SHARING. Sharing is caring okay?!?! And truth be told, it took me a while to develop a full appreciation for the showering of sweetness. I LOVE it now and am so grateful to have such a doting husband…. but, when we were first dating, sadly, my response was more like:
I’m not a scrooge, it’s just that he went a weee bit overboard and did so many sweet things I wasn’t used to…. For instance, ev-er-y morning when we were dating I would wake up to a page long “love text.” Then, he would often leave me an old school handwritten note on the table as well. I basically ended up with such a large collection I could have started a cupid exhibit:
Front view
Oh yeah, there’s more folks:
Side view.
Like, aren’t you getting a hand cramp babe?!?!
Fast forward to 2.5 years of marriage, I freaking lovelovelove this stuff and shoulda backhanded myself for my lukewarm appreciation. I mean, it’s slowed down to a “normal” amount, but I think we’ve hit our love note stride. Now, you might be thinking “foolish newlyweds– just wait 30 years and you’re lucky if he looks in your general direction.” But I have to disagree! I believe this is part of his nature and always will be, even when he is Mr. Gray…..which leads me to today’s theme (ABOUT DAMN TIME RIGHT): Mr. Grays can STILL be romantic and oooeeyygoooeeeyloveeeydoveeey.
Check it….
My cousins Ray and Diane (who are more like aunt/uncle to me) just had their 50th wedding anniversary.
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50.
I literally got tired just typing that. I mean, this many years of having the covers stolen is definitely the ultramarathon of love & dedication. Personally, I’m just pumped Abe and I have made it over 2 years and can still look in each other’s general direction — well sorta– my husband basically just stares off to the left or the right, or anywhere where I’m not looking when I talk.
Lazy-eyed half-listener.
Flower-giving excessive love note writer.
Ya win some, ya lose some.
So back to Mr. & Mrs. Gray. To celebrate this momentous occasion, their children threw them a huge celebration. But not just any celebration– this was a mini wedding reception! Why? Because they never had a real one.
The way he still looks at her……..
In 50 years of marriage, this sweet couple has been through the ringer: Ray’s deployment to Iraq, 30 years in night school, and the loss of an adult son. But the upside is their faith and devotion to each other has made them stronger in love than ever before. The love was ooooozing out of them during the celebration. And specifically, what touched and amazed me was Mr. GrayRay’s romantic expression and honoring of his wife throughout the entire reception!
He starts off strong, like Ryan Gosling in “The Notebook” strong:
THEN, after this epic proposal, he goes on to describe the 10 things he has loved and appreciated most about her over the years, starting with the serendipitous story of how they met (later illustrated by their son below):
Driving the same car, Diane drove the wrong way (or in retrospect, the RIGHT way) on a one way street heading straight for her future husband. I mean, we’re Polish. What do you expect? lol Best. mistake. ever!
In front of all their family and friends, he continued his praise by giving her all the credit for every aspect of their relationship and for essentially, being the glue in their marriage. It just made her sparkle. And beyond Ray’s heartfelt words, the way he looked into her eyes while he danced with her set the bar for any love story. The whole evening was a public display of romance and love.
While it’s adorable to see a young couple smoochin’ in a mall, it’s moving to see an older couple holding hands walking down the street. They have lived through the “for better or for worse” and have chosen every single day to stay committed to each other. That’s real love — a daily decision made over and over and over saying “I’m with you.”
With that being said, in the midst of Mr. & Mrs. Gray’s anniversary celebration, I found this oh-so-true sign:
I adore this saying because it DOES get better with age….and that includes ROMANCE! <3 <3 <3
Recent Comments